A Priceless Life

You Capture - FRESH

2010-04-15T14:49:00.004-04:00

Fresh flowers are something I actually don't like to receive. It took me about five years to tell my husband that. I know, I'm not your typical girl. For some reason it just seemed wrong to take something so beautiful, cut it, put it in a vase and watch it die. Fresh flowers in bloom are another story. I don't know what kind of flower this is, but it's growing on a bush near the parking lot in my condo complex. When the whole bush is in bloom it's beautiful and was one of the first things that came to mind to photograph for this week's theme.

You Capture: Comfort (FIRST POST)

2010-04-07T21:58:00.003-04:00

This is my first attempt at "You Capture" and I'm screwing it up royally. This is an old picture and my husband took it, but it is the very first picture that came to mind when I read that the theme was comfort. This was the most comfortable time in my life. I spent most of the first weeks of my son's life in this recliner chair or in bed just nursing and cuddling. Thinking of those times brings me great comfort when I am dealing my now very loud, energetic, no-time-for-cuddles toddler.

Oh, and coffee. Drinking coffee with a friend while looking at the Blue Ridge mountains is also brings me great comfort!

Grammar and this exact Blog

2010-01-20T16:29:00.001-05:00

I suck at sentence structure, spelling, grammar, and anything related to the these things. Please, please, please, if you notice something wrong, correct me. For instance, did I use the commas in the preceding sentence correctly? I'll bet I didn't. I used to know this stuff, but I don't anymore. I need someone to teach me. I'm too lazy to google "proper grammar" and teach myself. I swear, I will not be offended. Correct away!

Also, this blog is still a work in progress. I'm really enjoying writing in it, but I'm not happy with the way it looks. Hopefully, I'll figure it out soon!

More on Brennen

2010-01-20T15:39:00.002-05:00

This is Brennen when he was barely a week old. Still a bit jaundiced. I've been reminiscing about his "tiny baby" days so much lately. He's grown so fast and he's only going to get even bigger. He can now climb out of this stroller.. while it's moving!
They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face and I hear your laugh like a seranade
This quote is from a Dixie Chicks song and the first time I heard it, it made me think of how I feel about him.

Love and Marriage

2010-01-17T12:19:00.006-05:00

This blog is inspired by an on ongoing conversation between my friend, Jessica, and I that will probably span the decades if it has not already.

The subject is marriage and people that have known me for a long or even short amount of time know how I once felt about marriage. I never dreamed of it and I never saw the point. I'm not religious, so I felt no pull to have my relationship recognized in a church and if you aren't religious, well what's the point of getting married? Tax purposes?

I'm sure this sounds very cynical and skeptical and not very romantic at all, but it's just how I felt. I knew you basically signed an official document, had a ceremony, maybe a reception and a honeymoon and then spent your life honoring and adoring each other. It didn't sound so bad and I definitely understood why people wanted to do it, but it still wasn't for me.

I believed then and still believe now that people change. I think we can all agree on that. So (and this is the conclusion I came to during one of my "conversations" with Jessica) I never wanted my relationship with Josh to come to a point where we'd both changed so much that we didn't want to be together, but we had no choice because we'd signed that paper. I truly, wholeheartedly, want Josh to pack up his things and leave me if a day comes that he does not love me anymore. The thought of either of us sticking around together simply because we committed forever to each other at one point is just heartbreaking. The dissolution of an unhappy marriage is so much less a vulgar idea to me than two people staying in a loveless marriage. Don't get me wrong. We've been together for a long time and have experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs, but even in the darkest times love still remained.

All this being said...

I now wear an engagement ring AND a wedding ring on my left hand. Well, not right now at this exact moment, because I was just doing the dishes, but you get the point. I have a marriage license in my filing cabinet drawer in a folder labeled "important documents". My last name is the same as my husband's last name. I'm married.

I had an epiphany one day, shortly before I announced to Josh that I would indeed marry him. Yes, we may change. We WILL change. That is inevitable. We will encounter highs and lows. Happiness and maybe some devastation. At some point, one or both of us may fall out of the love that we've enjoyed and nurtured over the past seven years. But we're in love now at this exact moment and at the moment that we committed our lives to each other, forever didn't feel like long enough. That's what it's all about to me. I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but I know what the past held and what the present feels like, and that's enough for me.

Marriage, like Motherhood, is something I just never knew I wanted. It's something I have embraced. Embracing these changes in my opinions and views is turning me into a more accepting and less judgmental version of my former self. It excites me to think of how much more I'm going to grow in the future.

Sweat Pea

2010-01-12T14:18:00.002-05:00

This is my baby boy, Brennen, asleep on the couch. He is almost 18 months old and the absolute center of my entire universe. Just watching him sleep peacefully can always put a smile on my face and put the things life throws at me into perspective. It almost looks like he has his hand down his pants. Ah, like Father like Son. I just had to snap this picture because he NEVER just falls asleep, unless he's being rocked or nursed. This was such a precious moment.

Rolling with the Punches: Me and Motherhood

2010-01-12T13:54:00.005-05:00

Growing up I didn't have the same dreams most of my friends did. I didn't play "wedding" or think too much about becoming a Mother. Honestly, I never saw the appeal. Even as I got older and most of my friends were getting married and starting families of their own, I still didn't have that yearning to have a child or walk down the aisle. It's really hard for me to admit this, but even as I watched the little pink line appear on my first positive pregnancy test, I still wasn't sure I really had what it took to give this little person everything they needed and wanted. I knew I'd have this baby and I'd love it, but I wasn't sure if that was the path I'd chosen if things had gone differently. I knew being a Mother required a type of selflessness that I wasn't sure I could muster up.

I'd sometimes joke to people that I really didn't like children. It was the truth. I preferred adult conversation. I wasn't comfortable interacting with kids. I didn't enjoy it. I thought I'd feel tied down and maybe even trapped. I'm sure some people might read this and think I'm a horrible person. I'm just being honest. I really want to convey that it'd be hard to find someone as unsure about parenthood as I was. Josh would talk about wanting to start a family and I'd firmly say that it wasn't happening until I was at least 30! I just assumed that as I got older it'd hit me and I'd want a family.

Fast forward to now.

It still baffles me, the path my life has taken, and where I currently am at. I'm a married woman and a stay at home Mom. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that this is where I'd be at age 26 I would have told them they were insane. This is never a life I pictured for myself. It's certainly never a life I thought I'd enjoy. Yet somehow, it's the only life I can ever see myself being truly happy in. I was supposed to start nursing school when Brennen was four weeks old. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I prepared for it. When the time came though, it just wasn't right for me. I couldn't leave him. I desperately wanted to be the one to raise my son. It's been an indescribable journey. I've changed more in these past two years than I did my whole 24 years prior to becoming a Mother. I finally understood the absolute joy everyone was talking about, just from seeing your baby smile. It really is intoxicating. This experience alone has changed my view on life tremendously. I still don't believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason, but I am a more positive person. If I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, I may not have had the opportunity to be a stay at home Mom. I was in school, so Josh and I were living off of his income already. If I'd been working, it might not have been possible for us to lose my income. There are a million other ways things could have worked out, but the worked out this way. If nothing spectacular ever happens to me for the rest of my life, I really can not complain. This is enough to suffice me forever. I have embraced every aspect of being a Mother. Even the stress and lack of sleep that I never thought I'd be able to handle. I was being prepared for this job my whole life and I didn't even realize it.

My point here is really not write about how much I love being a Mom. It's more about rolling with life's punches. It sounds so cliche', but I never fell for it before this. You can think you have a plan. You can know , without a doubt, what you want out of life and where you are headed. Then, all in a matter of minutes, your world gets yanked out from under you and replaced with something you never knew you wanted so badly. It's a beautiful thing.

Don't Lose Touch - Against Me!

2010-01-05T22:26:00.001-05:00

You're coming off kinda contrived and pretentious. You're not saying anything we haven't heard before. You're caught up in an argument. You're so lost in modern art. You will lose it all and you will find again. Just don't lose touch. Don't lose touch. S.O.S. texted from a cell phone. Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks we're taking ourselves too seriously. Just a little too enamored with inflated self-purpose. Talk is cheap and it doesn't mean much. Don't lose touch. I'm losing touch. Constant entertainment for our restless minds. Constant stimulation for epic appetites. Is there something wrong with these songs? Maybe there's something wrong with the audience. Manipulation in rock music = Nausea. I'm losing touch and it's obvious.

(Quite possibly my favorite song of all time)

2010

2010-01-04T21:09:00.001-05:00

I have only one resolution this year and that is to waste less time.

Christmas!

2010-01-04T08:12:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to write a mammoth blog about how Christmas went. I'll just suffice it to say it was probably the best Christmas yet. Brennen actually had a clue what was going on this year and was thrilled all day long. I defy someone to show me something that is better than watching your child in a completely blissful state all day long. He was a little disappointed when he woke up the next morning though!! I can't write about Christmas without mentioning how Josh finally managed to surprise me on our 7th Christmas together. I am terrible at waiting for surprises and would usually figure out what he'd gotten me well before Christmas morning. This year, I'd figured it out too, but I was wrong. I've always liked taking pictures, but since giving birth to the most beautiful baby on Earth (Yep, I'm THAT Mom!) my "hobby" has taken on a life of it's own. I started thinking about getting dslr camera, but if you know me, you know I'm incredibly cheap. So I never would've bought it for myself. Needless to say, I was shocked and elated on Christmas morning. Thanks, honey! I'm looking forward to bombarding this blog with pictures from here on out.

Mary nursing baby Jesus.

2009-12-28T11:44:00.000-05:00

There was an article that went along with this picture, but I'm leaving it out in order to insert my own opinion. I adore this picture. I'd also like this picture and this post to be a precursor to the fact that I'll probably write a lot about breastfeeding. It's consumed quite a bit of the last (nearly) eighteen months of my life and there really is a lot to be said about it.

"Staycation" December 2009

2009-12-27T14:35:00.000-05:00

Josh gets two weeks of vacation a year. The first week we took a cruise to the Bahamas in May. I absolutely love cruising and the ocean, so I had a wonderful time. We all did, but it was definitely a challenge doing all that with a 9 month old. We decided to do something a little simpler (and cheaper!) for Josh's last week of vacation. We'd been talking about camping since Brennen was a tiny baby, but I always thought it'd be too difficult. He is now a full blow toddler and he loves the outdoors, so now seemed like as good a time as any. Since we had a few tickets to Disney, we decided to stick with the Disney theme and check out Disney's campground. The week of vacation turned out to be full of RAIN! We spend the first few days relaxing at home and finally it cleared up a bit, so we decided to at least go to Magic Kingdom!! I'd taken Brennen on my Birthday back in August and we both had a really great time, so I was really excited for Josh to see Brennen experience the MAGIC! This was also Josh's very first time to Disney World! The weather was overcast and in the 80's, but somehow seemed almost as warm as when I'd taken Brennen by myself in the August. That didn't discourage us though. We hit the ground running (well, walking briskly at least) and managed to cover most of the park before Brennen even started getting tired. Josh pointed out to me that I'm a little pushy when it come to walking through crowds. Nothing annoys me more than people who stop in the middle of a crowd to take a picture, or talk on the phone, or look at the map, etc. So I certainly did not want to be one of those people. I walk with purpose. Brennen's favorite ride was definitely the GO KARTS! He loves to steer steering wheels. We decided this was his favorite ride because it was the only he cried after. I personally really enjoyed, Buzz Lightyear, It's a Small World, and the Pirates of the Caribbean. We ate lunch and shortly thereafter Brennen dozed off in his stroller. We found a shady spot and relaxed. After an hour, we decided to wake him up and hit a few more rides before heading home.

So this was our day in a nutshell. We have lived in Florida for over three years now and it's never really felt like home. Of course, no where ever really feels like home to me. I moved so much growing up that it's kind of natural for me to not grow too connected to a place. However, after spending this second trip to Disney World in only a few months I realized how lucky we are to live so close to this stuff. It moved Florida up a notch in my book.

The next day we got the opportunity to meet up with some friends at Sea World. I absolutely love marine life and was very excited to go! I'd been there as a little girl, but didn't remember much. This would be Josh and Brennen's first time. We decided that if we were going to make the hour long drive back to Orlando that we'd might as well brave the drizzly weather and spend a night at Disney's campground as we'd originally planned. So we packed up again and headed to Orlando.

The campground is great. I expected it to feel very commercial and not very wilderness-y, but I was wrong. We set up camp and explored a bit. The place in enormous. So enormous that you have to take shuttle buses from one end to the other! There were so much huge and elaborately decorate RV's and camp sites. It was very festive and up until this point I hadn't felt very festive. Then we headed to Sea World. Before entering the gates to Disney I always felt like I was about to burst with excitement and Sea World was no exception. Brennen had even tuned into my excitement and although he had no idea what to expect he knew it was going to be something amazing. I really hoped he wasn't disappointed and luckily he enjoyed it as much as I did. We dealt with a little rain, but they had a covered sandbox to play in while we waited for it to pass. Afterwards, we decided to see a show. I had no idea what to expect. It was a show with actors in an auditorium and no animals. We sat down and Brennen promptly fell asleep in my arms. The show began and I was amazed! It was the closest thing to what I imagine a Cirque Du Soleil show to be like. Amazing acrobatics and people twisting themselves up in this long "sheets" hanging from the ceiling. Surprisingly, Brennen slept through the entire extremely LOUD show. The highlight of the day was by far "The Shamu Show". It was the very last thing we did and well worth the wait. I was worried that Brennen would not be able to sit through it, but he was in awe. He clapped at the appropriate times and was wide-eyed the entire time. He kept saying, "WOW!" after the whales did tricks. It was great to watch him. Yet, another point for Florida in my book!

We were definitely all tired and ready for the rest and relaxation after our second day at a tourist packed theme park. We headed back to our campsite and on to the campfire sing-a-long that made me want to camp at Disney so badly. The sing-a-long was great, except for the fact that Brennen wanted nothing to do with it! Ha! We decided to head to one of the many restaurants in the campground (Yes! MANY restaurants) and get some dinner. Now, Josh will probably divorce me if I don't mention this. Josh IS THE GRILL MASTER! No one grills a steak or any kind of dead animal quite as well as my husband. It should probably have been illegal for us to camp and not grill, but due to the fact that it was rainy and we weren't sure how Brennen was going to do, we (I) decided it'd probably be best to skip grilling dinner at least this one time. So, on to the restaurant we go. It was in a cute row of shops and other places to eat. There were horse drawn carriages riding around. I guess you would call it "Pioneer" themed. I'm probably way off. We stuffed ourselves and headed back to our tent, but not before checking out some of the ridiculous light displays that OTHER CAMPERS put up. It was amazing! Again, Brennen with his "WOW!". It was adorable. He was thoroughly impressed.

Luckily, Brennen slept well in the tent. We decided that if all went well we'd like to make an annual camping trip a tradition! I know as Brennen gets older he will enjoy it more and more.

In order to keep this from being the longest blog ever I'll get to the point now. Our "staycation" was great. We didn't spend a whole lot of money. We got to experience new things as a family and got a new outlook on the state we live in. Our time together is precious. With Josh's hectic work schedule, and the overall exhaustion and stress that comes with the daily life of a wife and stay at home Mom, it was so nice just spend time together. I can't wait to do it again!

Charlie's Soap

2009-12-07T12:42:00.000-05:00

When I started this blog I knew that at some point I'd have say something about Charlie's Soap. No, I don't sell it. I'm in no way affiliated with the company. I just really love the products.

I've been using their laundry soap and all purpose cleaner for over a year now. Aside from the fact that they both work so well they are also extremely inexpensive. Not cheap, inexpensive. The laundry soap is great for my family because we all have sensitive skin. No residue builds up in your clothes as it does with other detergents. It does not contain any perfumes. So your clothes are just clean. It works great on the aforementioned cloth diapers. It comes in a small compact bag, which means no more buying big, heavy, bulky, detergent at the store. Also, you only use a maximum of one tablespoon per load. So, the stuff lasts forever.

The all purpose cleaner is non-toxic and you can literally use it on everything. It has replaced every cleaner in my house. Although I do find that it does leave streaks on mirrors and glass. So it's not entirely perfect.

I hate wasting money on products that don't do what they claim to do, so it's a big deal for me to find something that works so well and is also a really great deal. I just have to pass it.

A blog about.. What?

2009-12-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

I've been in a blog reading mood for a few months now. It started off with my looking for some information on cloth diapers and I literally found thousands of blogs about cloth diapers. I didn't know there was that much information about cloth diapers. That sparked my curiosity and I realized that there are thousands, sometimes millions of blogs about everything. I know I'm a little late in noticing this trend. Really late, but it inspired me to start my own blog. About what, I'm not entirely sure. It'll likely revolve mostly around my son, Brennen and my life as a stay at home Mom. Which is one hundred times more interesting than I ever thought it'd be.

Today's Topic: Family Photos

We're going to get ours done today. They've been put off for months for various reasons. The first one being that Brennen got 5 stitches in his nose in the beginning of August at his 1st Birthday party. Then I gave him a terrible home haircut. Two weeks ago we were supposed to get them and it rained all day. Then yesterday, Brennen fell down and busted his lip for the first time. That being said, we're still getting pictures done in a few hours. Although, I don't believe in "signs" I do wonder with all this bad luck if maybe we're not supposed to get family photos taken. I don't believe in signs, but I will be crossing my fingers that all goes well today and I can make a cute Christmas card!